tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-389035612024-03-05T08:44:45.790-06:00Fresh Baked BitsWhere Brenda Writes About The Writing LifeBrendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.comBlogger224125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-67755280397436202552013-08-26T08:23:00.000-05:002013-08-26T08:23:03.754-05:00No Bitter, All Sweet: A Different View of the College Send-off<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Last week, my twins headed to college – one in Washington
D.C. and one in Bloomington, Indiana. My friends are calling, e-mailing,
stopping me in the grocery store. “Are you okay?” they ask, eyes wide with
concern in the middle of the cereal aisle. I know what’s expected of me. I’m
supposed to miss my kids. I’m supposed to grieve the loss of this stage in my
life. Everywhere I look, people are writing and talking about this difficult
transition. In <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Washington Post</i>,
Michael Gerson went so far as to say this about sending his youngest child to
college: <a href="http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2013-08-19/opinions/41424110_1_college-students-ancestors-son" target="_blank">“He has a wonderful future in which my part naturally diminishes. I have no possible future that is better without him close.”</a><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Seriously?? Sorry Michael, sorry friends, sorry kids, but I
am just not there.</div>
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Don’t get me wrong. I love my children like crazy. But letting
go of them is not only easy for me, it’s delightful. I’ve got nothing but joy
and hope for the future - both theirs and mine. Which makes me wonder… Is there
something wrong with me? Where are my tears? Where is my wistful
reminiscence?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where is my longing
for more time with my kids? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I could blame my father. He often told me, “A parent’s job
is to give their children roots and wings,” and, “Kids are only yours to
borrow.” Was this advice born from his own sense of loss when my siblings and I
grew up and flew from our nest? Perhaps. But his wisdom seeped into my bones,
and I always knew the hands-on parenting phase of life was temporary. That knowledge
didn’t keep me from being 100% invested in motherhood. It kept me sane,
especially when I had three kids needing three different things at the exact same
time.</div>
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I blame my husband, too. He’s the one who insisted we go out
every Saturday night, even when we could barely afford a babysitter. We stayed
connected, so now, as I look to the future with this guy I married 23 years
ago, I’m not looking at a stranger. I’m not afraid that once the kids are gone
our marriage will disappear, too. In fact, it’s the opposite. We are going to
have a blast. </div>
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I might as well blame my parents and siblings while I'm at it, who’ve
made me realize that when you grow up, you can have as close a relationship as
you want with your original family. It's just not mandatory.</div>
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And friends, even the ones who are weeping into their
tissues as they handle the college transition in a way that’s right for them, get
their share of the blame, also. If not for them, I might have been the kind of
mom who befriends her kids or her kids’ friends. But I haven’t needed or wanted
that because my own friends make my life rich and full and funny and
interesting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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You know, now that I think about it, I've got to give a little blame to my kids themselves. After all, they’re the ones who matured
into young adults whom I trust enough to send off into the wild blue yonder. Not
that I don’t expect some shenanigans in college. I just expect them to deal
with it. </div>
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But enough pointing fingers. It’s only fair that I look
inward and blame myself. First off, I’m the wacky person who got the word
OPTMST on her license plate to remind me every day to choose optimism. So yeah,
maybe I do look on the bright side of most situations. At the same time, I’ve
sort of been obsessed with endings and loss and change my whole life. My mom
often accused me of being morbid, but I was processing the fact that life
always, no matter what, ends with death. Okay, that might be obvious, but
really, when you fully embrace that idea, you are suddenly free to appreciate
the beauty of life with all its ups and downs and changes. At least that’s what
happened for me. Optimism and death - you wouldn't think those two things go together, but they do. </div>
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My daughter filled our home with stories, emotions, drama,
and love. My son filled it with humor, wit, mystery, and a quiet sense of
confidence. All they gave to me is here, inside me. Their leaving doesn’t
change that, it just expands as they share themselves with new people and new
places. Their adult lives are beginning, and I’m the lucky one who gets to
watch from the sidelines. I will be their biggest fans. And I am just a phone
call away if they need me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I have one more child at home, a senior in high school.
Maybe I’ll feel differently next year when he heads off to college, but I
wouldn’t bet on it. This is what we hope for, isn’t it? To raise our children
to leave us. To be well-adjusted adults. To discover their passions and work
hard to make their dreams come true. </div>
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I can’t be the only mom who is jumping for joy as she
witnesses her children leave the nest. The shame I feel at the grocery store
when I don’t have the expected reaction is not actually shame. It’s more the
uncomfortable feeling you get when living authentically makes you different
from your friends. I think, maybe, there’s nothing wrong with me. Maybe I’m
saying what lots of people are feeling but are afraid to admit. But I will
shout it from the rafters, and I invite you to join me. Go on kids, create your
lives. I will cheer you on while I continue to create mine. </div>
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Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-12708853904751442152013-06-03T19:56:00.001-05:002013-06-03T19:56:12.794-05:00Anthem to the Outcast in All of Us<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Every senior at our high school is invited to write a commencement speech. The following speech was written by my daughter. It wasn't chosen to be delivered, but the selection committee wished for it to be shared, so they printed it in the school newspaper. I'm incredibly proud of Faith for writing with such courage and candor about her experience being an outcast in high school. If this resonates with you, please share it. Faith and I would love for her speech to find as large an audience as possible. Thanks!</div>
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So, without further ado, I present "Anthem to the Outcast in All of Us" by Faith Ferber</div>
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I am a loser.</div>
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No, really. I’m the kid who had nobody to sit with in the
caf. The one who cringed when teachers told us to find a partner. I knew I’d be
last picked. I can count on one hand the number of people who were genuinely
kind to me from 8:10 to 3:14 each day. Everyone knows Deerfield High School has
some of the best academics in the country, but I’ve learned more from my
experience of being a loser than I have from any class I’ve taken. This is not
a speech of self-pity. This is an anthem to the outcasts, an anthem to the
future challenges we face and the resilient nature I hope you all will carry
with you.</div>
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If you can’t already relate to my story, you probably will
be able to some day. The truth is, no matter how popular or pretty or athletic
or talented you seem, none of us are immune from becoming a loser. We will all,
at one point or another, worry we won’t fit in. Perhaps you won't get into a
sorority. Or you could get fired from your job. And if statistics mean
anything, half of us will end up divorced. If by chance you get through all of
that without feeling like a loser, I’m pretty sure we can agree that your
future kids will let you know just how uncool you really are. But here’s the
thing: being a loser makes us human. It teaches us resilience. It forces us to
develop self-esteem. And most importantly, I hope it empowers us to be kind.</div>
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I am as extroverted as they come. Having nowhere to sit at
lunch and no one to spend my free periods with was a terrifying experience for
someone who thrives off of social interaction. Instead of letting those
roadblocks cripple me, I used them to my advantage. I spent every lunch in the
College and Career Resource Center, where I can now confidently say I know enough about college to work next
to Ms. Hinden. I spent my free periods in Mrs. Halpern’s room getting my
homework done. Despite the social challenges I faced, I never gave up, and
because of that, I opened myself up to bigger and better experiences. Who knew
I could get straight A’s if I just actually did my homework? I even fostered
new relationships with my parents, whom I realized really aren’t as lame as I
once thought.</div>
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As we move on to a post-high school world, hurdles are
inevitable. We can choose to be afraid, turn around and walk back to the start
line, or we can jump the hurdle and make our way to the end. I encourage you
all to jump. It will be scary. Your foot may even get caught on the hurdle as
you tumble over. That’s okay. We are all capable of picking ourselves up and
moving on. If I had chosen to surrender, I would have nothing important to say
here.</div>
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In a generation of multi-taskers, we often try to accomplish
things as fast as possible, lacking precision in the process. We have learned
that “good enough” is acceptable. As a high school student, I frequently hear
people rushing their thoughts, caring more about what they <i>want</i> to say than
what they <i>are</i> saying. You are not “literally” dying, and I sincerely hope your
parents aren’t “literally” going to kill you when you come home with that
speeding ticket. And although the incorrect usage of this word is annoying, I
have noticed another word that I find much more disheartening when improperly
used. That word is self-esteem. The key word is self. I cannot tell you how many
times I’ve heard someone say, “So-and-so has a crush on my friend and not me.
It totally killed my self-esteem.” Confidence comes from within. We are told
this constantly, but I, at least, did not fully understand it until I became a
grade-A loser. When you don’t have friends and it seems as if you must really
not be as cool as you think you are, it’s natural to start feeling bad. That is
why I have come up with a quick trick to remind myself of my own worth. When
I’m feeling like I’m a terrible person, I stop, take a deep breath, and say two
things I like about myself. It can be external, like an earlobe, or internal,
like my compassion towards others. I’ve learned that just naming two qualities
truly helps my self-esteem. Because how can you feel worthless when you have
such a gorgeous earlobe? Seriously though, because this exercise is focused on
crediting your own value, I believe it boosts your confidence levels in a much
stronger way than having someone else validate you as a human being. And
interestingly enough, once you get used to feeling good about two parts of
yourself, it gets easier to feel good about more and more until you truly love
yourself, even with love handles, a big nose, or ears that stick out. In
college, our self-confidence will be tested and scrutinized. Will you conform
to what others want you to be? Or will you stay true to yourself, stay true to
the two parts you name, and show others what self-esteem really looks like? </div>
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In late March and early April, two suicides at nearby
schools hit many of us hard. We wore yellow to raise awareness. We posted
Facebook statuses about kindness, understanding the simple healing power we
possessed. And for a few days, people thought twice before picking on the
loser. Shortly after, the bombings at the Boston marathon demonstrated how
quickly our lives can be turned upside down. We encouraged each other to be the
best person we know how to be because life is short. But how quickly will we
forget the lessons of these tragedies?</div>
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I write these words with the knowledge of what it means to
be on the other side of the story. Many of you know that I used to be a bully.
Not like in the movies. I didn’t shove kids into lockers or steal their lunch
money. I was a North Shore bully. I beat people with my words. I demeaned
people with my indifference. I used to believe that being mean to the losers
was fine because that’s what they were used to. It took me many years to
realize how painful that kind of bullying is for both the victims and the
perpetrators. I wish I could go back in time and act differently. I would reach
out to the bullied, the kids sitting alone at lunch or standing in the corner
at recess. I would prove to people that being kind is cooler than being a
bully. I cannot change my actions in the past, but I have control over my
future. I have control over now. I’m so sorry to those I have hurt.</div>
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Being a loser has taught me how truly incredible kindness
is. I have learned that there is a difference between being kind and not being
mean. The majority of you have not been mean to me. I appreciate this, I truly
do. But most of my peers ignored my presence altogether. For the handful of you
who have been kind, you are truly wonderful. Thank you for encouraging me to
apply for a job at your workplace. Thank you for enthusiastically shouting out
my name in the hallway. Thank you for asking me if I wanted to study with you.
We are all aware of the Golden Rule. It’s time to follow through. It’s okay to
smile at the loser. Remember, you are or will be a loser, too. The bystander
effect is an extremely dangerous part of our society. It has taught us to
believe that we do not need to have that extra ounce of courage, we do not need
to put ourselves out there in order to help others. We tell ourselves someone
else will do it. When everyone feels they are not responsible, we all become
responsible for the ensuing damage. Be the person who takes a stand. Be the
person who can walk away with no regrets, who can walk away knowing they made
someone’s day better. Small acts of kindness can make an incredible impact.</div>
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Being a loser has not been easy. If I could do it all over
again, I definitely wouldn’t But I am thankful for the lessons I have learned.
As an outcast at Deerfield High School, I have been shoved into the face of
reality, and I have come out on the other side ready to take on the world with
resiliency, confidence, and kindness. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Iv3o42gqX-60MD4qt9WT81d5pvPxVgnIzPOO4er4q32fR_hnOIMZGnM7dO7OPcRB-nBCzVKtuI7QY8_GEjDAzQefWJSwJ5UX0_0dDvyxS_yYVlrgsX3U-SLX4YgmCyVasEZK/s1600/IMAG0850.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Iv3o42gqX-60MD4qt9WT81d5pvPxVgnIzPOO4er4q32fR_hnOIMZGnM7dO7OPcRB-nBCzVKtuI7QY8_GEjDAzQefWJSwJ5UX0_0dDvyxS_yYVlrgsX3U-SLX4YgmCyVasEZK/s320/IMAG0850.jpg" width="179" /></a></div>
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Faith with two of the kids who were genuinely kind to her this year. </div>
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Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-41907374343158338252013-03-20T14:13:00.000-05:002013-03-20T14:13:18.614-05:00Ideas<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Everyone always wants to know where writers get their ideas. But I have to tell you... that's the wrong question to be asking. Truth is, ideas are everywhere all the time, free for the taking. But those ideas are just ideas. You can't copyright an idea for a very good reason. It's nothing until you shape it into something tangible. The question people should be asking is, "How do you recognize if an idea is worthwhile?" <br />
<br />
For me, it's all about the sense I have that this idea must already exist. It's so good that it must already be part of the world. Along with that comes a feeling of urgency because if the idea hasn't already been developed, it certainly will be soon. And also, if I thought of it, someone else (who is of course a better and faster writer than me) will think of it, too.<br />
<br />
So there you have it, the foolproof way of figuring out if an idea is worth pursuing or not. Equal parts excitement, urgency and insecurity.<br />
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Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-29363384221793614572013-03-02T13:11:00.000-06:002013-03-02T13:11:00.175-06:00What's up?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Lots has been happening in the Ferber house lately. My daughter figured out where she'll be going to college next year! Go Faith!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJVvePXRufHMPMOIuzATqSMdvOzi4Tq84-VKKdswGzLWt8c7IR5kJRIyk9fLt2pH8Q9NQ4ATIdM3OrZ1O2QkE5AW0eQHcaEyHkeTNmf1AD9EqZh9SByQmOXXZUMnLQXMpYU5ow/s1600/2013-02-22_17-52-48_558.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJVvePXRufHMPMOIuzATqSMdvOzi4Tq84-VKKdswGzLWt8c7IR5kJRIyk9fLt2pH8Q9NQ4ATIdM3OrZ1O2QkE5AW0eQHcaEyHkeTNmf1AD9EqZh9SByQmOXXZUMnLQXMpYU5ow/s320/2013-02-22_17-52-48_558.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
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Jacob, always the prankster, did this when I thought he was shoveling a path in the backyard for our sweet dog.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggKzgJ3_lnM34xC7luGiavIU5QcQd52kBeYHCr74cqLmDyeAtZsQKoVBH2kCD7rSi8QNeBik9fMHHbFZQKdK1WkT3HNkZqeVTptBQ4PSx7eIuHM4R3WbwpdeDYyLdCT98B8-Bp/s1600/IMAG0563.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggKzgJ3_lnM34xC7luGiavIU5QcQd52kBeYHCr74cqLmDyeAtZsQKoVBH2kCD7rSi8QNeBik9fMHHbFZQKdK1WkT3HNkZqeVTptBQ4PSx7eIuHM4R3WbwpdeDYyLdCT98B8-Bp/s320/IMAG0563.jpg" width="179" /></a></div>
I'm going to miss his sense of humor next year when he goes to college. (Still not sure where that will be.)<br />
<br />
Sammy has been playing The Wolf and Cinderella's Prince in <i>Into the Woods</i> at Wilmette Theater. <a href="http://www.wilmettetheatre.com/events/#event1285724-into-the-woods-the-musical" target="_blank">Tickets are still available for next weekend.</a> I saw the show this morning and loved it!<br />
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Here's Sammy as Prince Charming greeting a special fan after the show. </div>
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And I went to the Arctic for a writing retreat. Actually, we were just in western Michigan. It was awesome!!<br />
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That's me looking out over Lake Michigan (Photo creds: Carolyn Crimi)</div>
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Life's been busy and fun. What's up with you?</div>
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Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-3920291112173032562013-02-15T13:01:00.002-06:002013-02-15T13:01:56.071-06:00Book Winners and a Couple Other Things<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Thank you to everyone who told me about their random acts of kindness this month. The thing I realized was that I surround myself with very kind and giving people. People who make practicing kindness a normal part of their life so much so that they wouldn't even think to draw attention to it. So I say to all of you who are doing small things to make the world a better place, thank you!<br />
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And now, without further ado, here are the five people, chosen by my kids, who will be receiving free autographed copies of <i>The Yuckiest, Stinkiest, Best Valentine Ever.</i> Drum roll please...<br />
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1. Ellen, who as she was shoveling snow, noticed a young girl walking all alone. Turns out the girl couldn't find her parents, and she didn't have a phone to contact them. Ellen called the parents and hung out with the girl until her father came to get her.<br />
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2. Sabrina and Kenny, who drove an elderly co-worker 90 minutes away to a mandatory class, waited the five hours while she was there, then drove her back home again.<br />
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3. Christine, who after getting her small paycheck, put a chunk of it, in cash, into an envelope and gave it anonymously to a friend who could really use the money.<br />
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4. Juliet, who runs a group at her children's school that practices random acts of kindness for parents in crisis.<br />
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5. Jeff, who bought lunch for a homeless woman who was asking for money in downtown Detroit.<br />
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And as for the couple other things...<br />
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1. Now that Valentine's Day is over, I have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of publicizing and promoting this book. The reception it's received from kids, adults, and reviewers has thrilled me to no end. I mean, New York Times? Really??!!<br />
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Most of being an author is slaving away at the computer, searching for the just-right word. Moments like these, where your book actually gets out there and read and enjoyed by strangers, should not be taken for granted. I am so grateful!<br />
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2. I've written another picture book. Hooray! I have no idea if anyone will publish it, but my agent loves it, so that's a good first step. Fingers crossed!</div>
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Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-1595109636918564132013-01-30T11:54:00.001-06:002013-01-30T11:54:33.381-06:00Random Acts of Kindness Update<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I'm so psyched that Publishers Weekly is spreading the news about my <a href="http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/childrens/childrens-book-news/article/55604-author-celebrates-good-fortune-by-paying-it-forward.html" target="_blank">Random Acts of Kindness contest</a>. I hope you all will email me with the fun things you are doing.<br />
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To inspire you, here are a few things that have already been done:<br />
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Ellen helped a young girl who couldn't find her parents after school. Pretty scary for the child and the parents. Hooray for Ellen, who acted on instinct and saved the day.<br />
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Twelve-year-old Tova stuck up for a classmate who was being bullied. Then she created a t-shirt design that says, "I like who I am/ That's good enough." Go Tova!!<br />
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Bonnie used to work as an activities coordinator at a nursing home. The other day she stopped in to visit some of the residents there and spread some cheer.<br />
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Here's Bonnie visiting some old friends. He's 102! She's 100!</div>
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Teenagers Sammy and Emily wrote an anonymous letter reminding the recipient that she is loved, and they slipped it under her door.<br />
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As for me... I stuck $2 bills in five random library books the other day. I anonymously paid a library late fine for a random family. And I baked cookies and delivered them to our local fire department. Fun fun fun!<br />
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What random acts of kindness have you done lately? I'd love to know!<br />
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Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-13626407614965261362013-01-20T15:41:00.000-06:002013-01-20T15:41:59.048-06:00Yucky, Stinky Valentine Event<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I had so much fun at the Deerfield Library on Friday. I read my book to a crowd of mostly strangers, and then we made yucky, stinky valentines. True, I had stocked the audience with a few nieces and nephews, but they weren't the only ones in attendance.<br />
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It never ceases to surprise me when strangers read my books. Like, I get that's the whole point of publishing your book, but still. There are people in this world who don't know me and who, with no obligation to me, choose my book off the library or book store shelf. There are even people who will come out on a cold winter's day to hear me read to them and to make valentines and to even purchase my book and ask for my autograph. That is just plain amazing.</div>
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So huge thanks to all you strangers out there who are reading my books and coming to my <a href="http://www.brendaferber.com/events.php" target="_blank">events</a> and making me smile from ear to ear. </div>
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Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-55574063421495709532013-01-18T08:35:00.000-06:002013-01-18T08:35:05.074-06:00Random Act of Kindness Fail<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Let's hope your random acts of kindness don't go like this:<div>
<a href="http://www.grindtv.com/outdoor/blog/50700/mouse+released+into+wild+snatched+by+hawk+ruins+good+deed+video/" target="_blank"> Poor mouse!</a></div>
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In other news, I'll be at the Deerfield Library today at 4:30 reading <i>Yuckiest Stinkiest </i>to kids and making valentines with them. This is the first of several library and bookseller events I have planned for the V-Day season. I must admit I'm a little nervous because I'm used to talking to older kids about my middle grade novels, and I'm not much of a craft-type person. My sweet husband reminded me they're just kids, and I'm a mom, and I know what I'm doing. </div>
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Truth is, he's right. </div>
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I'm going to have myself some fun!</div>
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Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-54004124784179105842013-01-15T11:27:00.001-06:002013-01-15T11:27:20.882-06:00Random Acts of Kindness Update<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I am loving the response people are having to <a href="http://brendaferber.blogspot.com/2013/01/youre-invited-to-do-random-act-of.html" target="_blank">my idea to celebrate the publication</a> of <i>The Yuckiest, Stinkiest, Best Valentine Ever</i> with random acts of kindness. I hope it keeps growing!<br />
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Here are just a few things that people have already done:<br />
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Faith spent time at a no-kill shelter, giving love to the dogs and cats there.<br />
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Sabrina and Kenny gave a ride to an elderly co-worker who was required to take a 5-hour class 90 minutes away. They drove her there, spent the day walking the beach, having lunch, and seeing a movie, then drove her home. If not for doing that favor, they wouldn't have had such a lovely day together with no distractions. </div>
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Christine took a chunk of cash from her most recent paycheck, stuck it in an envelope, and anonymously gave it to a friend who she knew could really use the money. </div>
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Michele cleaned out her closets and gave clothes away to Goodwill. She also distributed food at Yad Ezra with her temple. </div>
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I've heard from lots of other people, too, who practice random acts of kindness as a regular part of their life. I've often donated money to charity, given away things I no longer need, and given my time and energy to those less fortunate, but I'm approaching this month in a different way, hoping to surprise people who wouldn't normally expect charity or help. Like the other day in the drive-thru at Starbucks, I paid for the order for the car behind me and told the cashier to tell them it was a random act of kindness, and they should feel free to pass it on. And at the library, I paid the late fine for a family who had racked up a pretty big one. In both cases, I slipped away before the recipients could see me. I love the idea of them being surprised by this random generosity. The world needs more of that, don't you think? </div>
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If you're looking for a way to participate, check out this <a href="http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/kindness-ideas" target="_blank">site for random acts of kindness ideas</a>. And please share with me what you're doing. Thanks for spreading the joy and love!</div>
Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-14108697339490556152013-01-08T21:08:00.000-06:002013-01-08T21:08:26.730-06:00You're Invited to do a Random Act of Kindness for The Yuckiest, Stinkiest, Best Valentine Ever<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The fact that this book has come to be is a testament to insane optimism, determination, love, and luck. I've decided there's no better way to celebrate my good fortune than to pass it on. However, since I'm not a publisher and can't make another author's dream come true, I've come up with the next best thing.<br />
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From now until Valentine's Day, I'll be doing random, kind, and loving things for strangers. It would mean so much to me if you would join me in the fun and multiply the impact I can have. Whether you shovel someone's driveway, pay for their coffee, hand out flowers or hugs on the corner, donate clothes or food or books to those in need, or whatever creative idea you come up with, please <a href="http://brendaferber.com/contact.php" target="_blank">shoot me an e-mail</a> (with a picture if possible) telling me about what you've done.<br />
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Doing these random acts of kindness should fill you and the recipient with joy, but in case that's not enough, each week right here on my blog, I'll post roundups of all the good things people are doing in honor of <i>The Yuckiest, Stinkiest, Best Valentine Ever</i>. And on Valentine's Day, I'll send free autographed books to five of the people who participate. Book recipients will be determined by my three teens, who were three little kids when they first inspired the story of <i>Yuckiest, Stinkiest</i>.<br />
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It's that simple!<br />
Thanks for helping me celebrate!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWD-iDl41Eb6ZUXCJoFNTU9hMAdahXL_ubnLZrwGJxYSizz7517twvfgzYicfZ8Osf_Mtw-N65ZyLqj5eyLod9qKtjEmBSQZofkmnSu5EtxR-ai7SiHi8QGAnZsEAt_ctftps3/s1600/Jake+Faith+and+Sammy+on+Ferris+Wheel+at+Navy+Pier+2004.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWD-iDl41Eb6ZUXCJoFNTU9hMAdahXL_ubnLZrwGJxYSizz7517twvfgzYicfZ8Osf_Mtw-N65ZyLqj5eyLod9qKtjEmBSQZofkmnSu5EtxR-ai7SiHi8QGAnZsEAt_ctftps3/s320/Jake+Faith+and+Sammy+on+Ferris+Wheel+at+Navy+Pier+2004.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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My kids when I wrote the first draft of <i>Yuckiest, Stinkiest</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivKw1dTFYBFEe1TjZojVVUruAqdVnbgmTPg61DkxBO-8PbqJTfHptBRc0Spli0FRagNhnMzlgoqFO1UbMFRXR3etAZyUeVUNOGX07BG6TkRDo1hmDEKmIlcQno7I0NcH0ldWJG/s1600/BAER_0152_8x10Ccweb.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivKw1dTFYBFEe1TjZojVVUruAqdVnbgmTPg61DkxBO-8PbqJTfHptBRc0Spli0FRagNhnMzlgoqFO1UbMFRXR3etAZyUeVUNOGX07BG6TkRDo1hmDEKmIlcQno7I0NcH0ldWJG/s320/BAER_0152_8x10Ccweb.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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My kids today. That's how long it takes to get a book published! </div>
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Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-73575101684923367312012-12-06T09:51:00.000-06:002012-12-06T09:51:22.116-06:00Introducing The Yuckiest Stinkiest Best Valentine Ever<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgggUX_ikESDFmToTUiwLDE4aENNKyjr9iF-AxL1VJOzkoxsqjQ7Hrs3vdxhYYFOBHJx8Ce_fdlc1XTmf8HibFCjmHVIFK2pXMdYnEy7ACFK0ySicLwMB0f0MZ4qlfCN-eZH3ya/s1600/9780803735057_large_The_Yuckiest,_Stinkiest,_Best_Valentine_Ever.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgggUX_ikESDFmToTUiwLDE4aENNKyjr9iF-AxL1VJOzkoxsqjQ7Hrs3vdxhYYFOBHJx8Ce_fdlc1XTmf8HibFCjmHVIFK2pXMdYnEy7ACFK0ySicLwMB0f0MZ4qlfCN-eZH3ya/s320/9780803735057_large_The_Yuckiest,_Stinkiest,_Best_Valentine_Ever.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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It's a book! </div>
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December 6, 2012</div>
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8x11"</div>
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14 oz.</div>
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32 pages</div>
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Please join me in welcoming to the world <i>The Yuckiest, Stinkiest, Best Valentine Ever</i>! This baby was conceived ten years ago by me and has been lovingly brought to life by Tedd Arnold, Kathy Dawson, and all the brilliant folks at Dial Books for Young Readers.<br />
<br />
The reviews are coming in...<br />
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"Get ready to enjoy a laugh-out-loud, fast-paced adventure involving a secret crush, a runaway valentine with an attitude and lots of candy. Get this now - it's better than candy." <i>Kirkus Reviews</i>, starred review<br />
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"Arnold's full-page, boldly colored, digitally created cartoonlike illustrations are dynamic, bringing the chase to life. With its creative story line and upbeat writing, this picture book is a must for holiday collections." <i>School Library Journal</i><br />
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Want to help me celebrate? Here's how you can:<br />
<br />
Buy a copy for yourself, your kids, and your kids' teachers. (Support your local independent book store if you are lucky enough to have one.)<br />
Add your own review at <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Yuckiest-Stinkiest-Best-Valentine-Ever/dp/0803735057/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_t_1" target="_blank">Amazon</a>.<br />
Share this page on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, tumblr, wherever.<br />
Check out the yuckiest, stinkiest, best <a href="http://www.brendaferber.com/pdfs/valentine-activity-kit.pdf" target="_blank">activity kit</a> to go along with the book.<br />
And mark your calendar for one of these fun <a href="http://www.brendaferber.com/events.php" target="_blank">events</a>.<br />
<br />
Bringing a book into the world is not as painful as childbirth, but the gestation period is way longer, and the hopes and dreams for a bright future are quite similar. Though I'm not expecting this book to get into college, find love, have a fulfilling career, and stay healthy, I am hoping it will work its way into as many readers' hearts as possible. And for that, I need your help.<br />
<br />
Thanks and Happy (Early) Valentine's Day!<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br /></span>
<br /></div>
Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-55316355553218831902012-11-18T19:49:00.002-06:002012-11-18T19:49:36.854-06:00Delicious Potato Pancakes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I've been hosting our family Hanukkah party for the last 20 years or so, and that means I've been making potato pancakes, or "latkes" as they're called by Jews, for two decades. I have tried lots of different recipes during that time, and my cookbook has notes to myself scribbled all over it. I must admit, I dread making the latkes, and every year I consider buying them instead. But I never do. I always make them, and my family always loves them. Today, with the help of my daughter, I documented exactly how to make these delicious, traditional, labor-intensive, fattening, (did I say delicious?) treats.<br />
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Ingredients to make about 40 potato pancakes (allow 2 hours from start to finish):<br />
5 lb potatoes<br />
1 sweet onion<br />
4 eggs<br />
1 T salt<br />
1 C flour<br />
Canola oil for cooking<br />
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Note: If you're going to double or triple the recipe for a large crowd, I suggest making one batch at a time. You can make the second batch while the first batch is frying.<br />
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1. Peel the potatoes and put them in a bowl of cold water. (Do not put the peels down the garbage disposal unless you want to spend a couple hundred dollars on an emergency plumbing visit. Yes, that happened to me. Twice!)<br />
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2. Grate the potatoes in a Cuisinart and put the grated potatoes in a bowl of cold water. (The potato water will turn a little orange as it sits and the starch comes out of the potatoes. Don't panic.)</div>
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3. Strain the grated potatoes and squeeze out as much liquid as possible. </div>
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4. Chop the onion in the Cuisnart until it is onion-mush. Add the flour, salt, and eggs.</div>
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5. Add the onion-egg mixture to the grated and strained potatoes and combine well.</div>
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6. Heat about a 1/4" of oil in a pan over medium heat. Put spoonfuls of the potato mixture in the hot oil and flatten a bit to make pancakes.</div>
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7. Cook for about five minutes per side. They are ready to turn when they're brown around the edges. </div>
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8. Gently lift the golden brown pancakes out of the oil and squeeze between two spatulas to get some oil out.</div>
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9. Cool the pancakes on paper towels, where more oil will come out. </div>
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10. Serve with apple sauce and/or sour cream. </div>
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Or better yet...</div>
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11. Freeze in ziploc bags and defrost the day you plan to serve them. </div>
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12. Reheat on cookie sheets at 350 for about 10 minutes. </div>
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13. Blot and serve. </div>
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I much prefer making them in advance because the kitchen is a disaster after this project. I can clean it all up, and the day of the Hanukkah party, it is very easy to reheat the latkes on cookie sheets. No mess.</div>
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Homemade latkes are a ton of work, but they are so worth it and way better than store bought! Hope you enjoy. Happy Hanukkah!!</div>
Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-62251323388962246582012-10-14T14:29:00.000-05:002012-10-14T14:29:21.103-05:00Autumn Beauty<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Walking with Ozzy on a glorious fall day.</div>
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I couldn't help but stop and appreciate the beauty around me.</div>
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I love the changing seasons, the constant cycle. Makes me appreciate each fleeting moment. Wherever you are, whatever the season, I hope you're seeing the beauty and enjoying it.</div>
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Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-28196362742958356112012-09-21T16:05:00.000-05:002012-09-21T16:05:42.932-05:00Regret<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My kids went skydiving for their birthday, and no, I don't regret letting them do it. And I certainly don't regret not jumping along with them, even though my husband does.<br />
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To be honest, there isn't much I regret. I believe life is all about the journey. You have to look at all the mishaps and missed opportunities and wrong moves and bad choices as part of the great adventure of life. And yet...<br />
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When I was a junior in high school, I was supposed to read <i>The Scarlet Letter </i>and write a paper on it. This was one of those assignments outside of the regular class assignments. There was no discussion or help. It was just, "Read this book on your own when you're not busy with all the other assignments I'm giving you, then write a thought-provoking essay." Huh? Seriously? Do high school teachers still do things like that?<br />
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I did not, in fact, read <i>The Scarlet Letter.</i> But I was a grade-focused student. So I opened up my Cliff's Notes and copied. I didn't think long and hard about what I was doing. I didn't consider getting caught. I didn't care that I was plagiarizing. I was a teenager... completely and totally invincible and doing what I had to do to survive.<br />
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When I got the paper back, there were some lovely comments about my thoughtful and well written essay, along with a respectable A-. That grade and all the comments were then crossed out with a thick red marker, and in angry writing below, my teacher had scrawled, "See Cliff's Notes pages 23-27. The Scarlet Letter for you is an F."<br />
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The shame I felt from that F flattened me. This was junior year. This was English, my favorite subject. This was the teacher in charge of the National Honor Society. How could I have been so stupid? I was never able to look my teacher in the eye again. This must have been how poor Hester Prynne felt. Or was it? I honestly didn't know since I hadn't read the book.<br />
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Ever since then, whenever <i>The Scarlet Letter</i> has come up in conversation (you'd be surprised how often that is) I've thought about that big red F, and I've felt regret. Not for having plagiarized, because really, my teacher's response was so perfect that it almost made it worth it. I mean, would you ever again pull a stunt like that after getting a scarlet F? I wouldn't. Lesson learned. Thank you. My regret is for not pushing myself to read a challenging book. The book was too hard to understand at the time, and I didn't want to put forth the effort. I took the easy way out. Then in college I chose not to major in English because I was afraid of coming up against difficult books like <i>The Scarlet Letter</i>. That is regretful.<br />
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So now, close to thirty years later, my son is reading <i>The Scarlet Letter </i>for school. And guess what I took out of the library yesterday?<br />
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I'm going to read it without a teacher's help, without classroom discussion, and without, thankfully, having to write a paper.<br />
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Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-3738799165315147972012-08-30T13:48:00.000-05:002012-08-30T13:48:41.688-05:00Skydiving and College Apps<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Anticipating an event is more exciting and more anxiety provoking than the actual event itself. That's the premise behind building suspense in movies and books. And it holds true in real life as well. The difference is that in fiction, the author will do everything she can to make you feel tense about the upcoming event, whereas in real life, we do everything we can to remain calm. My Pilates teacher often says, "Strengthen your core. Maintain your balance." I try to take that notion into everyday life. I dream of being one of those zen-like individuals who doesn't get rattled by anything.<br />
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My twins are seniors in high school. They are turning eighteen this weekend, and to celebrate, they're going skydiving. Yes, I will be watching as two of my three perfectly healthy children jump out of a perfectly good plane. For some strange reason, this is not bothering me. I'm actually excited for them. They've been talking about skydiving for ten years now, and they're finally doing it. So I'm psyched for them and praying for good weather.<br />
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What is freaking me out is that they're applying to college. Do you have any idea how much there is to do to apply to college these days? It's so much more complicated than when I did it. I thought I'd be able to stay out of the process. I thought if I repeated my mantra, "They will find their place," enough times, I would sidestep the parenting stress I've witnessed with practically all my friends who've gone through this before me.<br />
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Alas, last night I couldn't sleep, and today I spent a good portion of my morning making a seven-page to-do list for my kids. I'm worried they won't finish their applications on time. I'm worried they won't get into their first choice schools. I'm even worried they won't be accepted anywhere. And then what? Community college? Looking for a job in a terrible market? Living at home? Oh man, I can't even go there. Clearly, my core is weak and my balance is off, way off. I need to breathe. I need to stay calm. I need to picture my kids jumping out of a plane, screaming from the adrenaline rush, laughing like crazy, and floating safely back to earth.<br />
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Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-83072263408274341922012-05-23T20:19:00.000-05:002012-05-23T20:19:29.527-05:00When You're Down and Troubled<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today was a down in the dumps kind of day. I woke up with a headache, and everywhere I looked, I saw frustration and disappointment and annoyance. I didn't want to write. I didn't want to run errands. I didn't want to meet up with friends. I didn't want to do anything.<br />
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So I didn't. I just let myself feel my blue feelings. I gave them their due. I journaled a bit about what was bothering me. I took a nap. And then I went outside. My next door neighbors were having a lemonade sale, so I bought a cup and sat in the grass and chatted with two preschoolers while petting my sweet dog. And you know what? I felt better.<br />
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People see me as the ultimate optimist, as a positive person who handles whatever life throws at her. And I try to be that person. But even optimists get into bad moods every once in a while. I'm glad I didn't fight my bad mood or deny it or ignore it. Acknowledging it and letting it run its course definitely helped me to move right through it. And now I'm feeling fine and looking forward to tomorrow.<br />
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Here's to naps and journals and lemonade and preschoolers and puppies!<br />
<br /></div>Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-11811517755347790222012-05-02T08:38:00.000-05:002012-05-02T08:38:01.204-05:005 Nuggets of Advice for Your Teens (since mine won't listen)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Lately, everything I say seems to get translated to my kids as "Blah blah blah blah blah." Here's what I wish they would hear:<br />
<br />
1. Don't let virtual relationships take the place of real relationships. If you're texting someone, there's a false sense of security. You say things you would never say face-to-face. Here's a good rule of thumb (adapted from my friend Jenn's theory for adult dating, which is "e-mail, e-mail, phone call, date.") This is the teenage version of that: Text, text, skype, date. See each other face to face! Go out for ice cream. See a movie. Go bowling. Kiss each other. Real relationships happen in person.<br />
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2. Do your homework. Seriously. This is not just another nag. If you do your homework, your grades will be better, and you will have many more choices when it comes time to apply to college. I know it can be boring. But deal with it! Life isn't always a party, but if you work hard, I swear you will have more opportunities for fun.<br />
<br />
3. Try your best. In everything. Don't be afraid to look uncool. Just try. Because otherwise you'll never know what you can do.<br />
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4. Fail a lot. But learn from your failures. Failures are actually steps to success. Ask anyone who has ever accomplished anything. It's true.<br />
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5. Be kinder to your siblings. Friends will come and go, but siblings are forever. Who else will ever understand your childhood and family the way your siblings do? And know this: your parents love all of you differently, not better or worse. They love each of you for the unique person you are.<br />
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Now here, for your viewing pleasure, is a clip from <i>Spring Awakening</i>. It's the "blah blah" ending to "Totally Fucked." I get it. It's not just my teens. It's all teens. I remember. I was a teen once, too.<br />
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<br /></div>Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-41451733272689470492012-03-08T12:01:00.002-06:002012-03-08T12:01:29.695-06:00The Fun of Creating Characters<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Last night I had the privilege of seeing Deerfield High School's production of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. It's heartwarming and hilarious, and if you're free tonight, tomorrow, or Saturday night, you should definitely go see it. My son was Leaf Coneybear, a home-schooled kid from a hippie family. His family makes fun of him for not being smart, but really, Leaf is just in his own world.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjygVb3LAjjGBtIrP7iEH_RPiHJM5GlVHXU-gNDx0RxCi6JKQJqyfD9BOBzK9zoMb8Tk-p850SqcAc9MnJ5O8oOUC3LAAsoTzM5y4nXSYbN9sxTmOagq4pqSbnbVCI5MrF1a6PJ/s1600/1.154065.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjygVb3LAjjGBtIrP7iEH_RPiHJM5GlVHXU-gNDx0RxCi6JKQJqyfD9BOBzK9zoMb8Tk-p850SqcAc9MnJ5O8oOUC3LAAsoTzM5y4nXSYbN9sxTmOagq4pqSbnbVCI5MrF1a6PJ/s320/1.154065.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The Original Broadway cast of Spelling Bee. Leaf is being played here by</div>
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Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Mitchell from Modern Family!)</div>
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Watching Sammy become this character was such a joy. Of course I loved when he was in the spotlight, singing "I'm Not That Smart," and I loved all the funny and sweet lines he delivered. But the thing that really blew me away was how at every single moment of the production, Sammy was Leaf. From his facial expressions as he watched the other spellers, to his choices in movement (laying his head on his mother's lap, freezing in the middle of a sneeze, swinging from a rope during "Pandemonium", snapping his fingers in appreciation of the other spellers), he never once broke character. I caught myself looking over at Sammy during random parts of the play (after all, I'm his mom), and each time, I was entertained by a small character choice he was making.<br />
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As I sit down today to work on my novel, I'm keeping that in mind. Every character should be fully developed and interesting, even in moments when they're on the sidelines. That's what adds depth, texture, and authenticity to a story. And the other thing I'm keeping in mind is how much fun it is to immerse yourself in creating a character. Actors and writers are not that different, you know. We're all just goofing around, playing make-believe.<br />
<br /></div>Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-49656110140360247932012-02-14T08:14:00.000-06:002012-02-14T08:14:04.803-06:00Just For The Love Of It<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I only have ten quick minutes this morning before my day will be busy busy busy, so I'm setting my timer to see how many reasons I can come up with for loving being an author even when the industry is so crazy and it's more difficult than ever to get published or noticed, and everyone seems to be complaining all the time. Yet, still we try. So we are either crazy or we love what we do. Or maybe a little of both.<br />
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Two minutes down. Here goes...<br />
1. Taking time to search for that big idea<br />
2. Finding one you think might work<br />
3. Imagining characters and voices<br />
4. Searching through baby naming directories for that just right name<br />
5. Outlining, pre-writing, sketching, crossing out<br />
6. Pondering.<br />
7. Spending your day thinking<br />
8. Spending your day reading<br />
9. Spending your day writing.<br />
10. Cutting<br />
11. Doing it better the next day<br />
12. Daydreaming about these characters that seem so real to you<br />
13. Daydreaming about ridiculous amounts of success<br />
14. Being alone<br />
15. Meeting with critique group<br />
16. Going on writing retreats<br />
17. Finding the just right word<br />
18. That point where the character you've imagined becomes so real you expect to run into her at the grocery store.<br />
19. Laughing while you write.<br />
20. Crying while you write.<br />
21. Figuring something out.<br />
22. Surprising yourself.<br />
23. Getting to the end.<br />
24. Starting all over again, knowing you can do it better.<br />
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Time's up. Notice I didn't list anything that relies on anyone but me. I can't control whether or not what I write gets published or critically acclaimed, and although I do love when that happens, I love all of this, too. Something good to remember.<br />
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<br /></div>Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-8109360768988855342012-02-02T11:03:00.000-06:002012-02-02T11:03:44.203-06:00Jemma Hartman Lookalike x2!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyotViMUtotSipreXrVj3khc9oyuAzg2nUAwJwjo6YG4WenoQ1flW95AM_y0XqICtZuEMX3EOgyTfMTnoAlksMXP5qGP7sR3AedTqZTeN9x5VB9x5T2jnbaF8lAMwXDD5hV5R3/s1600/jemma+lookalike.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyotViMUtotSipreXrVj3khc9oyuAzg2nUAwJwjo6YG4WenoQ1flW95AM_y0XqICtZuEMX3EOgyTfMTnoAlksMXP5qGP7sR3AedTqZTeN9x5VB9x5T2jnbaF8lAMwXDD5hV5R3/s320/jemma+lookalike.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I never tire of finding Jemma Hartman lookalikes, and these twins from Maryland made my day! That's Alicia on the left and Lauren on the right. Their mom wrote to tell me, "We found your Jemma!! My twin daughters look just like her. My daughter was so excited when she borrowed the book from the library, and all her classmates could not believe the resemblance! She LOVES the book and can't wait to read more!"<br />
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How sweet is that?<br />
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Props to <a href="http://www.gregswearingen.com/">Greg Swearingen</a>, the illustrator who created such an endearing cover image for my book. He not only captured Jemma exactly as I imagined her, but he made her so relatable and realistic that readers are finding themselves in her before they even read a word of the story.<br />
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I'm off to the post office to send these fabulous girls an autographed book and some Jemma Hartman swag.<br />
<br />
Want to see some more lookalikes? Check them out <a href="http://brendaferber.blogspot.com/2011/01/jemma-hartmans-twin.html">here</a> and <a href="http://brendaferber.blogspot.com/2010/02/what-do-jemma-hartman-and-beyonce.html">here</a>.</div>Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-2104142872827200892012-02-01T08:15:00.000-06:002012-02-01T08:15:05.084-06:00Back to Work...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I recently took two months away from my work-in-progress. My kids had a hard time understanding that I was not procrastinating. I'll admit, it looked like procrastination. I read a ton of books (My faves - Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand and The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. Read them now!), baked a ton of treats (homemade strawberry shortcake is definitely worth the effort), tried new recipes (must admit I hate cooking), cleaned out cabinets (and I hate cleaning even more), finished gigantic to-do lists (but you know, there is always a new to-do list growing), visited The Wizarding World of Harry Potter (so much fun!), cruised the Caribbean Sea (ahhh!), and even got my daughter settled into a new school (Good luck at DHS, Faith!)<br />
<br />
I loved my time off, but by the end of it all, I was itching to get back into the fictional world I've been creating for the last year. Truth is, being an author takes a ton of perseverance, but it also takes patience. You can't just zip through from beginning to end, revise, submit, and sell. That's not how it works. At least not for me. Everyone knows you have to be patient when it comes to submissions and sales. But you also need patience when it comes to the writing. Two months away from this project gave me the time and distance I needed to see my story and characters with fresh eyes. That's the first piece of advice I give anyone when they ask me how to revise. Find fresh eyes.<br />
<br />
Yesterday I met with my critique group, and they gave me a gentle push in the direction I need to go with this manuscript. The good news... I've written a fast-paced story with action and high stakes. That's actually great news for a writer like me, who normally writes character first, plot way way second. What they all want me to do, and what I know I need to do, is to develop my characters. Really find the voice and depth of everyone in the story. This is sort of backwards for me, but I like it. The pressure of figuring out the plot is off, and now I get to sort of play at being a psychologist. I'm delving into my characters' childhoods and experiences. What makes them tick? What makes them unique? What makes them relatable? How can I connect with each of them? <br />
<br />
This is the fun stuff. This is why I'm an author. </div>Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-2822881731814380762011-11-21T14:27:00.001-06:002011-11-21T15:04:58.615-06:00Thanku<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Gratitude is something I include in my life every single day. Even when bad stuff happens, I tend to find the positive morsel hidden in the mess. Without a doubt, this attitude enriches my journey, but it can be perceived as annoying by people who either don't agree, don't understand, or aren't able to feel this way though they might wish they could. So it's no wonder that I love Thanksgiving, when for a day, everyone joins me in this feeling and expression of gratitude. I'm especially thankful for that!<br />
<br />
Teaching Authors has declared this time as<a href="http://www.teachingauthors.com/2011/11/ten-days-of-thanks-giving-time-to-share.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TeachingAuthors+%28Teaching+Authors%29"> The Ten Days of Thanks-Giving</a>, and <a href="http://www.teachingauthors.com/2011/10/celebrate-october-20th-write-way-write.html">Esther Hershenhorn has invented the poetry form THANKU</a>, a thank you note written in the form of a haiku. So here are my thankus...<br />
<br />
<b>For my critique group:</b><br />
Thanks writing sisters,<br />
You keep me sane and happy,<br />
No crap gets past you.<br />
<br />
<b>For my husband:</b><br />
Funny, sexy, smart,<br />
You encourage and support,<br />
Hold my dream afloat.<br />
<br />
<b>For my kids:</b><br />
Life is never dull,<br />
Three teenagers in the house,<br />
My heart bursts with love.<br />
<br />
I could go on and on, writing thankus for my friends and family and dog and readers and editors and agent... but instead I'll stop here and get back to work on my real writing. Perhaps soon I will be grateful for a new book contract.<br />
<br />
Wishing you all a very Happy Thanksgiving!<br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-54645028994645308612011-11-01T13:50:00.001-05:002011-11-01T13:50:08.702-05:00Whole Novel Workshop<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
If you ever have the opportunity to attend a Highlights Whole Novel Workshop, do it! It was a truly magical week. My only regret is that I didn't get to spend more time in Honesdale, Pennsylvania.<br />
<br />
I stayed in this cute little cabin.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Av6D-23xzSORAXvhwiWA3yg20gIU5La-5rmRmi4pzyDWhWS9h-9_lwtjFO9WqCaOmPZCySfopCGZCIq8MYzt569BXcbZWDxIvQrSLtGJd_hmKiwYZL864SvQbHu0fzV0iEdm/s1600/IMG_5675.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9Av6D-23xzSORAXvhwiWA3yg20gIU5La-5rmRmi4pzyDWhWS9h-9_lwtjFO9WqCaOmPZCySfopCGZCIq8MYzt569BXcbZWDxIvQrSLtGJd_hmKiwYZL864SvQbHu0fzV0iEdm/s320/IMG_5675.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8w6bqODPqPLYlZtum0Q40HOdvVrVhtYQYZ66eW9HUqGoA4YFImoIrOwnSpY3jMH0eDxKpHyyRINvY-FhmcS4wry3V5EWhY6khm-Ae_DLKHp9NiLO2E1WArtgTps9cnN0zMgRg/s1600/IMG_5676.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8w6bqODPqPLYlZtum0Q40HOdvVrVhtYQYZ66eW9HUqGoA4YFImoIrOwnSpY3jMH0eDxKpHyyRINvY-FhmcS4wry3V5EWhY6khm-Ae_DLKHp9NiLO2E1WArtgTps9cnN0zMgRg/s320/IMG_5676.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
And I looked out at these lovely trees.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEHSZK6SCLULty8wBEcMh4huNJg-Ew-chZfIxuSzgkLAVtNJQOIjSt-dOJyT-A8mAcbJVC52AAga9hXcLcNWoFfIMIYHML9m4kFEv0SZ3apY3XHY1lYU-yFP0xGqAIrnFDZZFl/s1600/IMG_5674.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEHSZK6SCLULty8wBEcMh4huNJg-Ew-chZfIxuSzgkLAVtNJQOIjSt-dOJyT-A8mAcbJVC52AAga9hXcLcNWoFfIMIYHML9m4kFEv0SZ3apY3XHY1lYU-yFP0xGqAIrnFDZZFl/s320/IMG_5674.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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And when I took a walk, I followed this serene path.<br />
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And when I wasn't sleeping or walking or writing in my cabin, I was in here.<br />
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<br />
This is where I met with Stephen Roxburgh, Carolyn Coman, and eight other writers to talk about the craft of writing. This is where we ate beautiful, bountiful meals. Everything was fresh and delicious, and every meal was unique. I loved not having to think about what to eat, not having to grocery shop or prepare anything or clean any dishes. What a treat!<br />
<br />
At five o'clock each day, we drank wine and ate hors d'oeuvres while chatting about how to turn good writing into great writing, what our core stories are, who our main characters are, and how we can take steps to get our manuscripts closer to our visions.<br />
<br />
This is where Stephen told me the character I accidentally killed in my manuscript absolutely needed to die. (It's a special skill, but it <i>is</i> possible to kill a character and not realize you've done so until after you've already sent your manuscript in, and by then you're embarrassed and you wish you could reach into cyberspace and get the manuscript back to make the character live.) What a surprise to find out that subconsciously I was doing the right thing all along! This is where Stephen taught me about cutting redundant questions, and it's where Carolyn shed light on writing in first person, and it's where I came to understand that even though my novel has a lot of action in it, I'm really writing a plot of character. I have to say, that's a relief!<br />
<br />
This is where I made new writer friends, and I saw amazing revisions take shape, and I felt so inspired that I swear, if I had another week, I could have finished my revision and turned my manuscript in to my agent in no time. But alas, one week in Honesdale was all I had.<br />
<br />
Now I'm home, busy with my real life. It's a beautiful life, and I truly feel blessed for all that's in it. But I do miss that magical time out of time in Honesdale. </div>Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-90115180497003351672011-10-10T16:01:00.000-05:002011-10-10T16:01:17.659-05:00The Joy of Not Writing<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I haven't been writing for three weeks now, and I don't plan on writing this week either. Four weeks of not-writing. And get this... not one ounce of guilt!<br />
<br />
That's right. This time off of work isn't due to writer's block or procrastination. And it's not accompanied by that horrible feeling of <i>I should be writing now</i>. This time off is because I'm going to a <a href="http://www.highlightsfoundation.org/fw-sched/2011/whole-novel">Highlights Founders Whole Novel Workshop</a> on Sunday, and we were all told to take a break from our manuscripts so we can see them more clearly at the workshop.<br />
<br />
I suppose I could have worked on something else in the interim, but nah. I've worked so hard for the last year pushing through this first draft. I want this month off to not only help me gain some objectivity for my manuscript, but to also rejuvenate my spirit.<br />
<br />
I've been reading a ton. And going through piles of stuff. And crossing things off my to-do list. When I finish writing this blog post, I'm going to clean out my dresser and closet. You know I'm caught up on life if I'm tackling that one!<br />
<br />
And Sunday will begin my week in a cabin in the woods in rural Pennsylvania, working with <a href="http://services.namelos.com/stephen.html">Stephen Roxburgh</a> and <a href="http://services.namelos.com/carolyn.html">Carolyn Coman</a> and seven other writers. A week totally devoted to revising my novel. I won't have to cook or clean or walk a dog or drive anyone anywhere or think about anything other than writing. That sounds downright amazing to me.<br />
<br /></div>
Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38903561.post-14094348587606010602011-09-28T15:52:00.000-05:002011-09-28T15:52:48.707-05:00Fueled by Hope<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hallelujah and whoo hoo and yippee yahoo! I finished a first draft! It took me ten months, which is by far the fastest first draft I've ever written. For ten months, I've been thinking about this story, poking at it bit by bit, tunneling through to the end. For ten months, I haven't received a cent of payment, yet I've worked my hardest, struggled, and persisted, all fueled by hope. The hope that I could finish. The hope that this story would be worth writing and then worth reading. The hope that someday, after I revise and revise and revise, this will be the book that breaks me out of the mid-list. This will be the book about which people will say, "You <i>have</i> to read it!"<br />
<br />
Lately I've been thinking about hope and how the authors I know get so excited and filled with hope before their book comes out, and then how those same authors are often disappointed when their book, no matter how great it is, doesn't get the attention it deserves. Doesn't get shelf space at the book stores. Doesn't get starred reviews. Doesn't get publicity or buzz from their publisher. Doesn't sell movie rights or foreign rights or hit the best seller lists. It's incredibly frustrating.<br />
<br />
They've done this amazing thing that most people never do... they've gotten their book published! But then the reality of it hits... their book is one of around 25,000 new books for children and young adults published every year. It might seem impossible to get published, but the truth is lots of people accomplish that goal. Unfortunately, only a tiny percent of those people are ever published <i>successfully</i>.* You've got to be a fool to hope for that.<br />
<br />
So call me a fool.<br />
<br />
One of my author friends said she doesn't get swept up by the hope or by the disappointment. She just keeps doing the work. And though I admire her balanced way of approaching this journey, I know that will never be me. I need the hope to fuel me. I would never have spent ten months of my life torturing this story out of me if I didn't think there was a possibility of a huge reward someday. Yes, the writing is the reward... I get that. And as difficult as it is, I love to write and can't imagine doing anything else. But it's too easy to give up if I think I'm just doing this for myself or for mediocre rewards. The hope that maybe this time I could be writing a breakout novel keeps me going. I'll take whatever disappointment comes my way. I understand that's the consequence for hoping, and I'm okay with that. Because without the hope, I'd just be standing still. Dreaming, not doing.<br />
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* I realize everyone will have their own definition of success. And it might be that the nature of success is that you always want what is just out of reach. For example, <i>Julia's Kitchen </i>could very well be considered a success.<i> </i>It won awards, got great reviews (even a star from <i>Kirkus</i>!), was translated into German, and worked its way into the hearts of many readers. And though I'm so grateful for all of that, my dream of success goes beyond what I've accomplished so far.<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Brendahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03563448164251033557noreply@blogger.com0