Thanku

Gratitude is something I include in my life every single day. Even when bad stuff happens, I tend to find the positive morsel hidden in the mess. Without a doubt, this attitude enriches my journey, but it can be perceived as annoying by people who either don't agree, don't understand, or aren't able to feel this way though they might wish they could. So it's no wonder that I love Thanksgiving, when for a day, everyone joins me in this feeling and expression of gratitude. I'm especially thankful for that!

Teaching Authors has declared this time as The Ten Days of Thanks-Giving, and Esther Hershenhorn has invented  the poetry form THANKU, a thank you note written in the form of a haiku. So here are my thankus...

For my critique group:
Thanks writing sisters,
You keep me sane and happy,
No crap gets past you.

For my husband:
Funny, sexy, smart,
You encourage and support,
Hold my dream afloat.

For my kids:
Life is never dull,
Three teenagers in the house,
My heart bursts with love.

I could go on and on, writing thankus for my friends and family and dog and readers and editors and agent... but instead I'll stop here and get back to work on my real writing. Perhaps soon I will be grateful for a new book contract.

Wishing you all a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Whole Novel Workshop

If you ever have the opportunity to attend a Highlights Whole Novel Workshop, do it! It was a truly magical week. My only regret is that I didn't get to spend more time in Honesdale, Pennsylvania.

I stayed in this cute little cabin.

And I looked out at these lovely trees.

And when I took a walk, I followed this serene path.

And when I wasn't sleeping or walking or writing in my cabin, I was in here.

This is where I met with Stephen Roxburgh, Carolyn Coman, and eight other writers to talk about the craft of writing. This is where we ate beautiful, bountiful meals. Everything was fresh and delicious, and every meal was unique. I loved not having to think about what to eat, not having to grocery shop or prepare anything or clean any dishes. What a treat!

At five o'clock each day, we drank wine and ate hors d'oeuvres while chatting about how to turn good writing into great writing, what our core stories are, who our main characters are, and how we can take steps to get our manuscripts closer to our visions.

This is where Stephen told me the character I accidentally killed in my manuscript absolutely needed to die. (It's a special skill, but it is possible to kill a character and not realize you've done so until after you've already sent your manuscript in, and by then you're embarrassed and you wish you could reach into cyberspace and get the manuscript back to make the character live.) What a surprise to find out that subconsciously I was doing the right thing all along! This is where Stephen taught me about cutting redundant questions, and it's where Carolyn shed light on writing in first person, and it's where I came to understand that even though my novel has a lot of action in it, I'm really writing a plot of character. I have to say, that's a relief!

This is where I made new writer friends, and I saw amazing revisions take shape, and I felt so inspired that I swear, if I had another week, I could have finished my revision and turned my manuscript in to my agent in no time. But alas, one week in Honesdale was all I had.

Now I'm home, busy with my real life. It's a beautiful life, and I truly feel blessed for all that's in it. But I do miss that magical time out of time in Honesdale.  

The Joy of Not Writing

I haven't been writing for three weeks now, and I don't plan on writing this week either. Four weeks of not-writing. And get this... not one ounce of guilt!

That's right. This time off of work isn't due to writer's block or procrastination. And it's not accompanied by that horrible feeling of I should be writing now. This time off is because I'm going to a Highlights Founders Whole Novel Workshop on Sunday, and we were all told to take a break from our manuscripts so we can see them more clearly at the workshop.

I suppose I could have worked on something else in the interim, but nah. I've worked so hard for the last year pushing through this first draft. I want this month off to not only help me gain some objectivity for my manuscript, but to also rejuvenate my spirit.

I've been reading a ton. And going through piles of stuff. And crossing things off my to-do list. When I finish writing this blog post, I'm going to clean out my dresser and closet. You know I'm caught up on life if I'm tackling that one!

And Sunday will begin my week in a cabin in the woods in rural Pennsylvania, working with Stephen Roxburgh and Carolyn Coman and seven other writers. A week totally devoted to revising my novel. I won't have to cook or clean or walk a dog or drive anyone anywhere or think about anything other than writing. That sounds downright amazing to me.

Fueled by Hope

Hallelujah and whoo hoo and yippee yahoo! I finished a first draft! It took me ten months, which is by far the fastest first draft I've ever written. For ten months, I've been thinking about this story, poking at it bit by bit, tunneling through to the end. For ten months, I haven't received a cent of payment, yet I've worked my hardest, struggled, and persisted, all fueled by hope. The hope that I could finish. The hope that this story would be worth writing and then worth reading. The hope that someday, after I revise and revise and revise, this will be the book that breaks me out of the mid-list. This will be the book about which people will say, "You have to read it!"

Lately I've been thinking about hope and how the authors I know get so excited and filled with hope before their book comes out, and then how those same authors are often disappointed when their book, no matter how great it is, doesn't get the attention it deserves. Doesn't get shelf space at the book stores. Doesn't get starred reviews. Doesn't get publicity or buzz from their publisher. Doesn't sell movie rights or foreign rights or hit the best seller lists. It's incredibly frustrating.

They've done this amazing thing that most people never do... they've gotten their book published! But then the reality of it hits... their book is one of around 25,000 new books for children and young adults published every year. It might seem impossible to get published, but the truth is lots of people accomplish that goal. Unfortunately, only a tiny percent of those people are ever published successfully.* You've got to be a fool to hope for that.

So call me a fool.

One of my author friends said she doesn't get swept up by the hope or by the disappointment. She just keeps doing the work. And though I admire her balanced way of approaching this journey, I know that will never be me. I need the hope to fuel me. I would never have spent ten months of my life torturing this story out of me if I didn't think there was a possibility of a huge reward someday. Yes, the writing is the reward... I get that. And as difficult as it is, I love to write and can't imagine doing anything else. But it's too easy to give up if I think I'm just doing this for myself or for mediocre rewards. The hope that maybe this time I could be writing a breakout novel keeps me going. I'll take whatever disappointment comes my way. I understand that's the consequence for hoping, and I'm okay with that. Because without the hope, I'd just be standing still. Dreaming, not doing.

* I realize everyone will have their own definition of success. And it might be that the nature of success is that you always want what is just out of reach. For example, Julia's Kitchen could very well be considered a success. It won awards, got great reviews (even a star from Kirkus!), was translated into German, and worked its way into the hearts of many readers. And though I'm so grateful for all of that, my dream of success goes beyond what I've accomplished so far.

Lots of Birthdays

In our family, we celebrated three birthdays this weekend. My twins turned seventeen. And my puppy turned three.

What's it like to have seventeen-year-old boy-girl twins? It's a breeze. It's a joy. It's a whole helluva lot easier than having younger twins. When Jacob and Faith were babies, they were cute and sweet when they slept or laughed or held hands or did something funny like accidentally pee on each other while I was changing their diapers. But in general, it was physically and emotionally draining. I was always needed. My life was basically taken over by these kids. Did I mention that we had another baby 19 months after the twins were born? (Incidentally, my husband recently completed his first triathlon, and he said it was the hardest thing he'd ever done. He must have forgotten what it was like when the kids were little.) Back then, I was going to write a book about how to survive the first year with twins. I had a title figured out: The First Year is a Blur. I bought a binder and organized it with different sections for different aspects of raising twins. But guess what? The binder is empty. And the first year is pretty much a blur.

If you are expecting twins, I don't mean to frighten you. I'm just relating my experience. I'm sure you'll have angelic babies who sleep through the night and nap at the same time and have mellow personalities. It's definitely possible. But here's the important thing: My kids are amazing. Smart and funny and unique and comfortable in their own skin. And holy cow, they're seventeen!

So, what's it like to have a three-year-old puppy? Okay, I realize Ozzy is not officially a puppy anymore, but you try telling him that. Ozzy is our Mini-Whoodle (part Wheaten Terrier, part Mini-Poodle), and he is the world's sweetest dog. I am not even the least bit biased. I know a lot of people end up on my blog when they do a search for Mini-Whoodles, so I figure I might as well give you some helpful information, not just about puppies but about what you can expect when your Mini-Whoodle grows up:

Appearance: 25 pounds, charcoal gray, warm brown eyes, and a funny looking 1970's-ish mustache. He's the perfect size for snuggling with on the sofa, and he's not tall enough to get anything off the kitchen counter.

Trainability: (Granted, some of this is my fault, but still). He sits. He stays in our yard with the invisible fence. He walks well on a leash. He never pees or poops in the house. He doesn't chew anything he shouldn't. He doesn't bite. Unfortunately, he still jumps on people, and he barks at the mail carrier and UPS guy, and he doesn't know how to fetch, and he never comes when I call him unless I'm giving him a treat or a car ride. Thankfully, his sweetness more than makes up for these minor problems.

Personality: Very playful. Very loving. Has never met an animal or person he didn't like. Will do anything for a belly rub. Gives lots of kisses. Enjoys daily walks and car rides with his head out the window. Often sits outside and greets the neighbors by rolling over on his back. Snuggles on the sofa with everyone in the family. Sleeps in his crate with his favorite stuffed animal. Smiles for the camera.

If you're looking for a Mini-Whoodle, I suggest you contact Barb at Old McDoodle Farm. She's wonderful. And if you're expecting twins, I suggest you load up on sleep, solidify your marriage, and reinforce your sense of humor. You're about to have the craziest, most challenging, most beautiful, and most rewarding ride of your life.